Started the day with bbq chicken + rice drenched with soup for lunch and afterwards with my laptop thought about what I’d like people to say at my funeral when the day comes, would I want eulogies to have “she was kind” “she made good art” etc ? I found I wasn’t good at the exercise and found it boring and pointless and cliche in a way like if I’m dead..I’m dead, I’m not exactly going to hear nor care what people say. So then I made a bucket list instead and found that to be more engaging, realized I’d really like to adopt and train a dog one day, that honestly feels like my number 1 must do. I did allat while watching this local movie about abortion with my sister, pregnancy as a concept still weirds me out and I know I don’t want that for myself, but that’s nothing new. The movie itself was a jewel though, I felt like crying at some points

Then read books, thirsted over anok yai here and there, played minecraft on the ps4 and the water with vibrant visuals look so good. Wrote in and read through my scrumptious dream journal and realized I’m starting to forget past dreams already

After dinner I drew animals, I think I’m getting better. I think I owe it to lying on my stomach on the bed underneath the room’s only light, made making art feel more accessible and like I can afford to be slow. The view from my bedside’s window at sunset and at night looks pretty, it made me think of a lighthouse